We all have thoughts we don’t share with anyone. Not a single soul. The thoughts that we try to separate from ourselves that are too ugly and nasty to embrace as a part of our being. Things that we think about that just couldn’t possibly have come from within.
Sometimes these thoughts are our shadow selves, looking for attention and other times they are stemming from hidden hurts and unhealed wounds that we don’t have the strength to face yet.
To protect ourselves from coming to terms with these unresolved emotions, our main defence is to put on a false mask and hide our emotions.
However, when we stifle our shadow, we stifle our creative power, as creativity is a gift of the shadow when in balance. The stronger the light, the darker the shadow, so for your light to shine bright, you need to embrace both polarities and find balance.
When we begin to peel back our layers, we get closer and closer to the root of what needs to be healed and nearer to the real authentic person that has been hidden away and the ultimate union of light and dark.
However most of us choose to relayer ourselves and cover up what we fear most. Layer after cracked layer we build upon, hiding the hurts we have endured and while we continue to add these new layers: ‘you can’t build a strong foundation on something that is already broken’.
This authentic you, that you are trying to hide is the inner child that is crying out for resolve, love, comfort and softness. This child needs you to face your deepest fears; the “monsters under your bed”, your demons and your darkest desiresand take him/her by the hand and tell him that everything is going to be o.k.
This child in you needs to feel safe, secure and accepted. It is then, in this space of security will you find strength, security, humility, acceptance and above all love. The love that you have been searching for out there in the world, the love that has been inside of you for eternity.
The love that is yours to give to yourself and then share with the world, for love cannot be attained by seeking outward. True love is found only within and is shared with others. To search outside of yourself looking for love, you will only find attachment and need. You must love yourself first.
So how do we illuminate and embrace our shadow selves?
It’s time to do the inner work, face our ‘demons’ and incorporate our inner most thoughts and feelings.
In order to rise to a state of acceptance, humility and love we must first face ourselves. We all make mistakes, we are all the same, we are all human. There is no one on earth who better than anyone else and there is no one on earth who is lesser. What separates the strong from the weak, the good from the bad and the ugly, is acceptance.
We all have this shadow side, that hosts our deepest darkest, most unspeakable desires and when we have these thoughts we immediately become ashamed of them and try to push them as far away as we can. However, the more we “try not to think about something” naturally the more it appeals to us and the more our thoughts about it will transpire and multiply. The point is to not push these thoughts away, because as we do this the likelihood that we will act upon them quadruples.
Accept that we all have this shadow side to us, our own opposite polarity of darkness and light. The black and white wolf, ‘batman and the joker’, the dark side of the moon, the angel and the devil and yin and yang– there are many references to this polarity of opposites. You can either dwell in ’50 shades of grey’, or rise to the light and embrace the darkest parts of you. The more you embrace your darkness, the brighter your light will shine. So accept your darkest thoughts and know that they are a part of you, but not to be acted upon. Life is about choices, and we can either make choices that will hurt others or we can have courage and make choices that respect and honour others and ourselves.
Guilt, regret and shame are the major obstacles we will face on the road to inner strength, balance and acceptance. While sometimes it may be easy for others to forgive you, we often find that we are unable to forgive ourselves. This is of the utmost importance. We are never to be made to feel guilty or ashamed of anything we think or feel and if you have someone in your life that makes you feel this way, get away now. But still, we as we know, are our own worst critics and unknowingly keep ourselves locked in the cages of our own thoughts; beating ourselves up any chance we get, as if we enjoy the suffering.
Go easy on yourself. When was the last time you laughed at yourself for something? Do that right now and let it go.
Life shouldn’t be taken so seriously, the universe is playful, so should we be.
by LJ Vanier
Originally published here at Raising Perspectives by LJ Vanier July 23, 2016