Our society trains us to ignore our instincts, mocking those who “trust their gut”, when the reality is that in your day to day life, your intuition is a powerful force. It represents millions of years of evolution, which warned our ancestors what was and was not dangerous, even if we could not reason it out at the time.
Unfortunately, you don’t have the time to reason about every single decision you make through the course of a day. Some things you handle by routine, but other times, you need to trust your gut and take a leap of faith.
All of this is especially true when it comes to romance and finding your soulmate. When you first meet another guy (or girl), you can chat and reason with them all you want, but you don’t truly know them. All you can do is trust your intuition, feel the vibe that you may have with that person, and proceed from there.
If you’re confused about what to do, here are some key tips which anyone can use to find “the one” with the power of your intuition.
Nonverbal communication and vibes
It is stated that 93 percent of all communication is nonverbal. However, the study which came up with that number was flawed. Even if the exact number is not accurate, nonverbal communication is the primary method through which we get a vibe about what a person is like.
The moment that you see another person, they communicate with you through their clothes, hair, posture, and so on. From there, you can get a first impression, and will get a vibe one way or the other.
You have to be careful about vibes. You may feel a rush of blood to your face and your nerves tingling when you meet some other person, but that does not guarantee you have met your soulmate. It can mean other things and could even signal that your intuition is warning you that they could be dangerous.
Given these mixed signs, it can be difficult to figure out what your intuition is and what your desires are upon meeting someone. One of my favorite tricks for figuring what my intuition is truly telling me is flipping a coin. The point is not what side the coin lands on, the key point is that when the coin is in the air, you will find yourself hoping that it will land on one side or the other. It’s at that moment, you will know what the right decision is. Follow your heart from there, and it will lead to good results.
This is not just a trick to force yourself to make a decision. The idea of a soulmate (or a soul split in two) reaches far into history, known by the Greeks as Plato’s concept of twin flame separation. These ancient traditions believed thought, logic, and reasoning were an obstacle to being reunited with your soulmate. Pressuring yourself to make a decision forces you to abandon logic and reasoning by trusting your gut.
Sit down and think
So, you have a good night or date out with someone, and you find yourself wondering if you are in love with them, or if you are just in lust, or if there is something else you are feeling?
A good way to emote out your feelings is to sit down and write. As Lynn Robinson points out, sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil and just write out everything you feel about your date. Do you want to be close with them all of the time, or do you just want to sleep with him at times?
The key point is to write down the first thing that comes to your mind, no matter how embarrassing or ridiculous it might be. By writing down your thoughts as they pop into your brain, you can record them. From there, you can settle into a course of action about what you want to do. That said, do NOT plan out your actions. The goal is to find out what your intuition is and do what it tells you to do.
Listen to the danger voice
Animals and humans developed instincts primarily to avoid danger. If an animal sees a piece of meat in a strange position, its instinct might tell them that something is wrong. If it is careful, it may realize that there is a trap.
The same principle applies with relationships. If you are meeting a great, swell, guy, but your inner-voice is telling you that there is something off with him, listen to it.
Obviously, don’t go telling that guy, “Hey, there’s something off with you.” What you should do is take a step back and think about everything that has happened. Often, your intuition will pick up something about him that you have missed. However, if you spend enough time going over what just happened, you should be able to figure out what is odd.
We like to think of instincts as something feral that is not part of our reasoning, but that is backwards. Our instincts and intuition arrive when our brain has noticed something, but our reasoning has not caught up to it.
Trust your brain and your heart, and you will be able to find someone with whom you can have a great relationship.
Written by Michael Prywes